All kinds of electric garlands

I have recently taken to leafing through the documentation accompanying the recent UK/EU trade deal. An odd choice of bedtime reading you might think, and to be honest, I felt the same way at first but that was before I came across the Harmonised Commodity Description and Coding System (or Harmonised System for short).  

On the face of it this is an inventory of every conceivable tradable commodity along with its corresponding numeric code. All that businesses are required to do when preparing goods for shipment is to look up the correct HS product code and enter it on the customs paperwork. 

Simple, you might think, but you’d be wrong, for a glance at the Harmonised System reveals it to be a very strange creation indeed. What follows is a sample set of categories:

Bells, gongs or the like
Wigs, false beards, eyebrows and eyelashes
Narwhal and wild boar tusks
Toys representing non-humans dressed as Father Christmas
Articles of Gut (other than Silkworm Gut), of Goldbeater's Skin, of Bladders or of Tendons
Braces, belts, bandoliers and wrist straps, but excluding watch straps
Father Christmases with or without a sledge 
Puzzles of all kinds.
Glass eyes other than prosthetic articles
Swordsticks, loaded walking sticks or the like
Swim rings with animal feature appendages
Frogmen’s and other goggles
Gimped horsehair yarn.
Imitation yule logs
Brooms brushes, mops and feather dusters.
Electric garlands of all kinds.

What kind of world is this? A world devoid of crash helmets, corkscrews and trombones but in which, nonetheless, there is a healthy international trade in false beards, frogmen’s goggles and imitation yule logs.

And what is it about toys representing non-humans that makes it necessary to define a special subcategory to distinguish those dressed as Father Christmas (with or without sledge)?

Slowly and with mounting horror I begin to understand the hell into which British manufacturers have been plunged. Picture, if you will, the following: 

In a West Midlands engineering company a call is put through to Dave Roberts, the sales manager: 

Roberts: Hello, sales. How can I help? 

Caller: Ah, good morning. This is Herman Meyer from the Electric Vehicle Research Institute in Stuttgart. I am told you manufacture a high-torque stepper motor?   

Roberts: Yes we do - it’s one of our best products. 

Caller: This is wonderful. If I place an order for 50, how soon can you deliver them?  

Roberts: Ah well, I’m afraid that might be difficult. We have them but we can’t find the right code to put on the customs form. 

Caller: Oh dear. Do you know how long it will take to resolve the problem?

Roberts: Sorry … but no, I can’t be sure. 

Caller: What a pity, but I don’t think this is going to work. Goodbye

Roberts: Wait, wait! Is there anything else I can interest you in? We have great line in  swordsticks and all kinds of electric garlands … 

Caller: <click>

Roberts: Damn, damn! 

Roberts: (calling over his shoulder to the warehouse manager) 
Jim! Those steppers - stick them on eBay. Let’s get what we can for them.